This is the blog entry you’ve been waiting to read, the one where we usually drone on about fantastic food for pennies a meal, the one that makes you jealous.

Early on, we explored the large outdoor market brimming with mounds of fresh fruits and vegetables. It looked like all the makings of many great meals ahead. Nothing looked unfamiliar, but I was still tempted to sign up for a class (which included a tour through the market) at a well regarded cooking school. Now I just needed to taste some great Guatemalan dishes in order to decide which class to take.

We began our culinary exploration in a nice restaurant near the center of town, by ordering a plate of nachos especial, some carne asada, and, since it was Monday, a chile relleno. (I miss you, Ken and Ed. More than you, I miss Isador.) The platter of nachos was huge, the chips were fresh, there was lots of chicken and a mild, but tasty side of pico de gallo. And since this was “el especial,” it came with melted queso. Alan insists on calling it “queso Amarillo” because that’s what it was called on the menu, but it was a runny Cheez Whiz. And it was pretty much downhill from there.

We ate at one of the most highly recommended (by locals and guidebooks alike) places in town and ordered the house specialties, two of Guatemala’s favorite dishes. Dull. We tried another well regarded place and again ordered the chef’s recommendations. Boring. We tried smaller places off the tourist path. Bland. No spice. No heat. No flavor.

It was time to try something other than Guatemalan food. Guatemala still thinks Southern Mexico is theirs so it didn’t feel like “cheating” to go Mexican. We broke down and dragged ourselves into the hopelessly hip Frida’s in the heart of the tourist area. Thank Dios. They had some of the best mole we’ve tasted ever, anywhere.

Then we figured Italian might be okay too since it seems to be very popular, so we tried a little pizza and pasta place that looked promising. The only saving grace was the Gallo beer, which was very good – much like Corona. In hindsight, perhaps if we had ordered muchos mas cervezas, the pasta might have been more palatable. We even got desperate enough to try Chinese, reasoning that even bad Chinese food would at least have some flavor. Total disaster.

Our day trip to Santiago Sacatepequez (more on that in a later post) was slightly more successful. We inhaled a platter of grilled chicken and green onions – still not particularly interesting but at least it was fresh and cheap. We also had great, fresh-from-the-oil churros there.

We tried. We really tried. And we’ll try again, but sadly, so far, Guatemalan food just isn’t wowing us. And today, I hate to admit it, but we broke down completely and ate lunch at Subway and dinner at El Pollo Campero. We are a tad embarrassed to admit it, but both meals were better that anything else we’ve had so far – except that mole at Frida’s.

Needless to say, I’m not signing up for cooking classes.

Next up: The Trip Heats Up