Okay, before we make the big announcement, we want to share with you the last few entries that trickled in via email:
- Vincent (in Paris): Corrida, Mexico; Colombia
- Shyan (in Singapore or Malaysia): Liechtenstein
- Beth: South Dakota
- Christy: “I’m so glad you’re doing this; sounds like it’s become quite the affair…”
- Rob: “Yukon Canada  R u getting married?”
- Ron: “I’m betting you’re going to the distant landlocked country of Nevada, which has two major tourist-laden cities, Reno and Las Vegas, Gold production is a major industry in Nevada and if altitude is an issue, it must be Reno, where the altitude is 4500 feet.  Are you two getting married there?”

The Entries are:

EUROPE: Andorra; Austria (Salzburg, Vienna); Czech Republic; France (Loire Valley); Macedonia; Moldova; Romania; Greece (Santorini); Hungary; Serbia; Switzerland. ASIA, SOUTH ASIA & SOUTHEAST ASIA: Afghanistan, Bhutan; Cambodia; Kazakhstan; Mongolia; Nepal; Tibet (2); Tajikistan; Turkmenistan; Uzbekistan. CENTRAL & SOUTH AMERICA: Bolivia; Mexico (Guadalajara, San Miguel Allende, Corrida); Columbia; Paraguay; Peru (Machu Picchu). U.S. & CANADA: Bingham, Utah; California Sierra; Colorado (Aspen or Vail, Whistler); Grand Canyon; Lake Tahoe; Las Vegas; Memphis, Tennessee; Missoula, Montana; Missouri; Mount Rushmore, South Dakota; Sun Valley, Idaho; Nachitoches, Louisiana; Reno, Nevada; Sacramento, California; St. Genevieve, Missouri; Tulare, California; Yukon Territory, Canada. MIDDLE EAST: Jordan (Amman, Petra). AFRICA: Botswana; Burkino Faso; Ethiopia (Addis Ababa); Kalahari Desert; Malawi; Mali (Bamako or Timbuktu); Rwanda; South Africa (J’berg, Cape Town); Sudan; Uganda; Tanzania; Zambia; Zimbabwe. OTHER: non-specific Caribbean island; Hades

Some cyber gremlins messed with Alan’s system and a whole slew of comments didn’t appear on the blog (in a couple different places) until just this evening. (Sorry.) We urge you to read them all. Geez you guys are clever. We had to expand the prize categories.

And FINALLY, the winners are:

MOST THOUGHTFUL
While some of you were ignoring clues and basics of geography and instead were trying to think of countries most of us would be hard-pressed to find on a good globe, others should be commended for their thoughtful analysis and reasoning. Kudos to Tara, Amy, Nina.

BEST IMAGERY
A very honorable mention to Beth for Mount Rushmore where “Harriet is going to don a white tyvek suit and lowered by ropes, scrub out the president’s noses with a toothbrush.”

MOST DISCONCERTING
Our house sitters, Kimber & Ben, guessed Mali. (Uh, guys, you know where to reach us if there’s a problem, right?)

MOST DISCONCERTING, Honorable Mention
Stephanie is going to be there with us… and she guessed Sun Valley. (Honey, if you don’t want to hang with us, just say so.)

TWISTED
A three-way (tie): Chuck, Andre and Michael for Kabul, Hades and Sudan respectively.

TWISTED, Honorable Mention
Laura L. and Judy S. for Memphis, TN or Hachitoches, LA in JULY! Are you nuts? Ed for “Slaughterhouse fantasy camp in Tulare”

BEST SUGGESTION THAT COULD HELP PAY FOR THE TRIP
From Todd and Gabi: “We’ve been beaten to the Nevada guess. The judge, Harriet’s nervousness, wearing white: you’re planning to rob a casino.”

MOST CREATIVE, Honorable Mention
To Elinor who entered Hollywood for among other reasons because, “The gold industry would be Oscar and gold albums. And the river runs thru it would be that one we get stuck up without a paddle, shit.”

MOST CREATIVE, First Runner-up (and not just because Ann is Alan’s mom)
“Well Darn, I thought it would be Santa Rosa. We are landlocked, We have a river, Russian River or we can run a hose from the front yard to the back, We will keep the house set at 90 degrees, keep Harriet from going upstairs to solve her altitude problem, We have an in-house Gourmet Chef, a bumper crop of escargot, an in-house tour guide who will take you to all the wine tasting you could ever want, (after which who cares what you eat and would solve Harriets attitude problem), concierge services, 4 stars on the door and only 30 bucks a night. Oh, well. Good Luck Harriet.” Seriously rethinking our trip now… and if any of you want to hang out with Ann in Santa Rosa, we highly recommend it.

MOST CREATIVE, JUDGES CHOICE
This goes to Andre & Tracy for: “You are going to Andorra to attend the International Beekeepers and Fencing Conference For Cohabitating Adults. Tracy and I were thinking of going, but realized neither of us are beekeepers . . . or fencers.” Brilliant… and if only it weren’t sold out for this week…

FREAKISHLY CLOSE
Shannon, having just returned to the States after leading wine and beer tours in Italy and Spain, with just a few little clues on Day One guessed simply, “Sacramento.” So, so, close. The contest was almost over before started.

FREAKISHLY CLOSE, Honorable Mention
This goes to Nina, not because she guessed correctly, but because on Day One, she responded from Truckee, California, a mere 30 miles away from…

drum roll, please…

RENO, NEVADA situated on the scenic Truckee River with an elevation of 4,500 ft.; average July temperature in the 90s; and host to the USA Fencing National Championships in which Harriet will be competing. There will be 28 women from across the country in her division (Veteran Women’s Foil), 15 of whom are rated (meaning they’re very, very good and have tons more experience). The odds of her taking home a medal are about the same as those for she and Alan taking wedding vows, so hold the congratulations on both accounts for now.

However, congratulations are in order for GRAND PRIZE WINNER, CHUCK CAIL, for his entry posted on June 30th at 12:01 p.m.

Thanks to everyone for playing along. If anything truly blog-worthy happens in Reno, we’ll let you know. Now, get back to work or your summer vacation or read something interesting.

Lots of love,
Harriet & Alan

Now, a few of you have asked for extra hints and more clues; and very early on, someone was so, so, unbelievably close. Really. Almost. Right. There. As a result, we’re going to speed things along, give you some extra help, and join together clues #5 and #6. But, as they say on Top Chef, there’s a twist: you only get one final entry. You can repeat or modify a previous guess; you can modify or second someone else’s guess; or you can take the plunge with a new guess. But remember, you only get ONE final guess so make it good. Oh, and you have to post your answer on the blog so everyone can see it. We will unveil the winners there as well.

Remember, in addition to the Grand Prize (first person with the correct answer), there are awards for the most creative answer and the best suggestion for our November trip. (There’s some heavy competition in that category.) And to encourage those of you who’ve yet to venture any guess whatsoever, we’re offering an autographed photo just for playing. How can you resist? So strip off your inhibitions, dust off that old atlas and give us your best guess.

Here are a few little things that might help:

Earlier entries via Alan’s email:
Vincent & Jean-Pierre: Botswana (until they realized the “Bs” were out)
Jean-Pierre: Paraguay (until he got the clue about English being the dominant language)
Rob: Zimbabwe
Also note there are some recent guesses that showed up in earlier blog posts.

Clarification:
The answers you see on the blog put forth by “Alan” come from Alan Herzfeld, not dearly beloved Alan Irwin.

Bonus Clue:
Harriet likes wordplay. You might consider reviewing everything carefully. There may be clues in addition to the official clues within a blog post. Today’s posting, for example, has a little gem (or two or more) in it.

Bonus Clue:
Marla, Harriet’s older sister, asked, “Would Dad go there?”
Answer: Yes, but it wouldn’t be his first choice, nor would it be yours or Gayle’s. However, if he were still alive, Dad would try to meet us there. Alan’s mom has some trouble with altitude, otherwise, she’d like to go there.

Time for the big finish everyone. READY? ALLEZ!!!

Clue #5
Jet lag is not a concern.
We fly out of Santa Barbara Wednesday morning, July 7th, and make one change of planes.
Alan and Harriet have both been there before.

6th and Final Clue
This is something Harriet, in particular, never thought she’d be doing and feels slightly ill thinking about it.
Alan is pretty calm about the whole thing.
There will be a Judge.
Harriet will wear white.

Careful… careful…

Uh oh. A few of you seem to have dropped out and we suspect there are some who are waiting to do a last-second-eBay bid/guess sort thing. Maybe it’s time we answered a couple of questions and reviewed a clue that seems to have slipped by many of you.

To answer Sylvia’s question, the destination does not start with the letter “B.” So Bolivia, Botswana, Burkino Faso, Bamako and Bhutan are all out, however they’ll all be considered for November.

Clue Review: We’re all clear on the geography (landlocked) thing and that the average temperature this time of year is about 90 degrees. Good. Now let’s give Clue #2 another look-see, shall we: “a week in Paris… one of our very shortest… trips” means “less than a week.” Not that we wouldn’t spend more time in airports and in the air than at the destination itself if there were a compelling reason or free ticket involved, but in this case, we paid for our airfare and we’ll be “there” longer than we’ll be traveling to and from there. Hell, this little contest is lasting longer than we’ll be there.

Clue #4 (Trivia)
We do not need a visa to travel there.
The predominant language is English.
It is a popular tourist destination.
In addition to tourism in two well known cities, the major industry is gold production.

Oh, in answer to Gayle’s altitude/attitude question, we’ll just say that “altitude” was not a typo but we readily acknowledge Harriet’s “attitude” is (always) a consideration.

We’re very pleased with the entries so far. Quite impressed, actually. Keep ‘em coming. Remember, you can enter as many times as you’d like. We might even consider throwing in an extra prize for perfect attendance, persistence, or sheer volume.

We’re hoping that a few of you might appreciate a bit of clarification and perhaps a little geography lesson before you make your next guess so here goes…

There were several votes for Bolivia. The temperature there right now is in the 50s — not our idea of “hot” as mentioned in clue #1 — so we’re going to shift Bolivia to the list of suggestions for our November trip. Just to be clear, by “hot” we mean the forecast calls for temperatures in the low 90s. This is the average temperature for July.

Here’s a little clarification on that whole “landlocked” thing mentioned in clue #1: We consider the states of Missouri (Keith’s guess), Montana (Laura L’s 2nd guess), Nevada (Diane and Judy) as landlocked even though the U.S. is not a landlocked country. So those guesses stand. Any state or province bordering on one of the great lakes, however, would not be considered landlocked. Peru is not landlocked but Kristen specifically guessed Machu Picchu which is inland. Hmmm. Clever. But we’re going to gently toss it anyway since temperatures there are in the low 70s right now… and we did the Inca Trail a few years ago. Sorry.

Guesses that came in via email rather than as comments on the blog:
Sylvia: Bolivia (although she acknowledged it is winter there now) or Bhutan
Wayne: Bolivia or Uganda
Kathryn: Bolivia or Moldova
Judy: Las Vegas
Amy: Serbia and/or Hungary
Kristen: Machu Picchu
Shari: Burkino Faso (Incorrect answer but we’re awarding bonus points for including a great description and good link.)

And now, your third set of clues:

Clue #3A (As they say in Lonely Planet, “Dangers & Annoyances”)
There are some safety considerations; we’ve invested in proper equipment and protection and will likely buy a couple more items as soon as we arrive. Magellans’s does not carry what we need (except for sun screen).

Clue #3B (Health & Immunizations)
Malaria is not one of our concerns.
The tap water is potable.
No immunizations are required for us although it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get our tetanus boosters.
Altitude may be a challenge, especially for Harriet.

Looking forward to more thoughtful, ingenious responses.

Congratulations to Laura for being the first to respond with “Cambodia.” Been there, done that, incorrect answer, but she does get bonus for being first to buzz in. Bonus points, too, to Diane for guessing a destination as well as a purpose.  Nina was the first to respond by email. A San Francisco native and major world traveler herself, Nina emailed all the way from quaint little Truckee (one would have expected Mongolia or Uzbekistan) to participate. However, she did not venture a guess so no prizes for her at this time.

So that you’re all playing with the same information, there were two other guesses on the first day of this competition that came via Facebook. Jonny — who did a lot of major hard traveling long before the internet, ATMs and even wheeled luggage; has known Harriet for more than 35 years, lived and traveled with her — guessed Bhutan. Keith, who has done the same guessed Missouri.

Thanks for playing!

And now for today’s clue…

Clue #2 (Budget)
Except for a week in Paris, this is one of our very shortest, most noteworthy trips. Not including airfare, on a per day basis, this will be one of our most expensive trips. There are $25 rooms to be had but we won’t be staying in any of them. We’re springing for something with a few stars for at least a couple of nights.

Contest rules: Prizes (something fun, we promise) will be awarded to the first person with the correct answer; to the person who gives an incorrect answer but best suggestion for our November trip; and to the person with the most creative answer. The very small handful of you who know the details are ineligible for the grand prize but are encouraged to keep the secret and participate by putting forth red herrings or other fishy guesses. You are encouraged to enter as many times as you’d like. There will be a total of 6 clues posted on the blog, one each day beginning today. Winner(s) will be announced on or about July 4th.

Here’s your first clue. Admittedly, it’s not a big one, but you might get lucky.

Alan and I decide to make a pilgrimage of sorts to the Erawan shrine. It’s a small, favorite shrine in what we  remember as being a rather sterile business district. It is so popular that there’s a guy whose job it is is to continually circle the alter and remove the bottom layers of marigold wreaths as the offerings pile up quickly. We take the metro and skytrain there – neither of which existed 20+ years ago – and find the little shrine as it was, but now completely dwarfed by ultra high-end shopping malls, the Inter-Continental Hotel, and skyscrapers. Just half a block away, at the base of the Louis Vuitton store, in one of Bangkok’s most important intersections, thousands of red-shirted, peaceful demonstrators gather for “Truth Day,” the six-month anniversary of the deadly military crackdown.

To see more flowers and demonstrators, click on the Red Shirt photo.To learn more about the political climate and Day of Truth, check out the New York Times article. (http://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2010/11/19/world/asia/international-us-thailand-politics.html?emc=eta1)

ALEE, ALEE, ALEE

Rep, Eung and Pink have gone to great lengths to entertain us, (over)feed us, buy us gifts, take us to places only a local of 70 years would know (remind us to tell you about the Thai Sophie Tucker at the German beer garden), show us a Bangkok few farangs have seen, and make this one of our most memorable trips. The name they’ve given me, Alee, should instead be given to them for it means, “giving and generous.”

Click on the photo at right to see lots of more from the markets,  the Loy Krathong  festival, an eco-Ploject Wunway fashion show, Wat Pho, food (of course), and other random shots from Bangkok.

Eung, Pink and I begin our ladies’ day out. First stop, the dried fish shop. I’m into it. Totally into it. My favorite is the long, thin-as-potato-chip variety with a smoky BBQ flavor, but I do like the jerky-like curls as well. Then, since it has been almost two hours since breakfast, we head to lunch in Pattaya where Eung and Pink order up seven (count ‘em, SEVEN) dishes plus sticky rice. For the three of us.

They take me to the magnificent, 20-story Temple of Truth which is built (rather, in the process of being built) without a single nail, and I join an English-speaking tour guide; a couple very fun older German guys whom I enjoy until I realize they’ve hired Thai “wives” for the week; and a young Cypriat interested in Buddhism who is thrilled I can speak a few words of Russian including, “Excuse me please, where is the toilet?” and “What is that? That is a lamp.”  (Click on the photo at right to see more from the temple .)

Eung and Pink are bored with the tour. I am completely enthralled watching the artisans sculpt this teak and redwood temple that has yet to be completed after 30 years. They decide it’s time for us to get massages. Really, really, really good massages. Oh, I am a happy executive wife-equivalent. Later, they may suspect I am less enthusiastic about visiting the outlet shopping mall, but Eung needs to pick up a few things so I try to act interested. I’m tempted to buy a Wacoal bra for a mere $12 but don’t want to risk the humiliation if they give me that look of “we no sell XXXL size for farang who has had too much sticky rice and chicharones.” I want to tell them I’m just retaining a little extra water from so many salted fish treats, but we all know that’s not true.

The next few days and nights Alan and I try to look interested in everything, but not too interested because Rep, Eung and Pink will buy whatever it is we look at too intently or order another dish of something and shovel it on our plates. There is also a lot of sitting around and killing time watching other people sit around and kill time; there is a lot of being plied with soft drinks and water and snacks courtesy of Pink and the Royal Thai Navy; there is a lot of smiling and nodding and joking around; there is Alan’s unending patience around work (be sure to ask him his lucky number story); there are too many enormous meals; and there is a lot of driving.

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE GUN

We spend time at Eung’s office – although we don’t know why – and see some of her products. She owns a company that manufactures and sells armor (protective vests, helmets, etc.) to the police and military. Some women love shoes. Eung loves guns. We see several from her very large personal collection – not small pistols one might carry in a little clutch purse for self-protection – but big, honkin’ Lugers, a few semi-automatics and a couple of revolvers.  And those were just the ones in her  desk. She and Pink laugh a lot. She makes me laugh; she makes me a bit sad. Pink mothers her (and everyone else) a bit. I think she and I both worry about Eung’s need to down several Singhas every night although I think I understand why. Stories about her previous career available off-line.

We’ve been treated extremely well, and Alan has more than earned every baht they’ve spent on us. He is tired. It has been a very full week.

We touch down in Bangkok a few hours later and Alan’s wonderful work rep is there to greet us. Phase Two  of our trip has begun.

After a series of cell phone exchanges, we meet the two women who the rep has arranged to “take care of” me. We have no idea how or if they’re related to Rep or their role other than “software engineer’s partner handler.” They’re both dressed very, very casually. Eung is 44 and looks 30-something, I think, and very pretty. Pink, as I call her because she is wearing rose colored, skinny jeans, is 59. “Harriet” is impossible to pronounce so we shorten it to “Hallee” and eventually to “Alee.” We meet. They proceed to talk only to each other. I’m thinking this is going to be a very long, awkward week.

Alan and Rep climb into the front seat of the SUV. Eung and Pink open the back doors and, like women everywhere, they think they are fat and indicate that I should sit in the middle on the hump. Of course, they are not fat at all. Pink still looks good in her skinny jeans. Eung is thin and 4 inches taller than me. However, after not having passed up a single grain of sticky rice all month, by the time we fly out of Bangkok, I will have made up the 4 inches in girth.

Within minutes, Pink opens a big Tupperware bowl of sliced fruit that tastes something like a mild apple with a less dense texture. Then she cuts open a yellow pomegranate with juicy seeds the size of peanut M&Ms. Eung explains that Pink is always eating, cooking or talking about food. Over the course of the week I will learn that this is an understatement. (Note to Marla, Richard, Gayle: Another sibling in Thailand?) Alan and Rep make small talk. The women talk almost non-stop. They are loud and rowdy. They laugh easily, often and loudly. Later, I find out they thought I was 10 years younger. Funny – I never thought of a gray ponytail and pair of Tevas as age-defying fashion.

We drive almost two hours on a 6-lane freeway until it narrows, lane by lane, and we find ourselves in the bowels of Pattaya. We drive through the ugly, traffic-clogged streets lined with tawdry hotels, German beer gardens, massage parlors, discos, billboards for cheap high-rise condominiums, souvenir shops and loud motorbikes that carry scantily clad, bulging, sunburned Europeans. The two-story  McDonald’s stands out as one of the most attractive buildings. Honestly.

I’m grateful not to have been in one of the minivans of our recent excursions, but I have been sitting in a tuk-tuk, then on a plane, and now on the middle bump and my ass is killing me. Rep wants to continue the driving tour through Hell and it takes another 45 minutes before we reach the waterfront restaurant. The first Singha is poured (over ice) and I realize that after less than half a glass, I’m already getting a buzz. I think I should at least wait until I get a little food in me, but the more I drink, the less I feel my aching buttocks. The first dish comes out. It is green papaya salad, this time with less lemongrass than its Lao cousin, but with more lime juice and chiles. Forget my butt; I can’t feel my lips.

It makes Rep and the women very happy that I can – and do – eat like a water buffalo. They are very pleased with Alan’s capacity as well, but we later learn that Eung can drink him – and pretty much anyone we know – under the table.

We pile back into the SUV after the papaya salad; cotton fish in garlic and ginger; delicate greens; rice; fish in spicy garlic oyster sauce; a heaping platter of huge crabs; another fish that’s poached with garlic, ginger and chiles in a rich broth and ends up in our soup bowls; salacca, another fruit with a slightly floral orange mango flavor, floating in a simple syrup; and probably a few other things, but I’ve been sucking down diluted Singha beers through my singed lips and can’t remember much at this point and have begun to pray we’re now on the way to our hotel.

Eung, Pink and I take our positions. Eung asks, “You have enough?” to which I reply “Too much” and pat my bulging belly. Not five seconds later, Pink whips the top off the Tupperware and starts in on the sliced fruit again. The three of us burst into hysterics. Okay, I’m going to have a good time with these women.

ARE WE THERE YET?

We’ve been up since 4:30 a.m. It’s now after 2 p.m. Sattahip is about 30 kilometers south of Pattaya. I can make it another 45 minutes. Oh, but wait. Rep first wants to take us to their famous zoological gardens. It is a Thai Disneyland/botanical garden/zoo/“cultural center”/amusement park filled with everything from fields of fake pink flamingos to drugged baby tigers; model stupas, pagodas and temples; a forest built out of stacked flower pots; and two different shows of colorful dancers, traditional music, Thai boxing and elephants painting pictures, playing soccer and throwing darts. How many Singhas did we have anyway? Probably not enough.

We are thrilled to finally reach the Navy hotel in sleepy, peaceful Sattahip. The décor is nautical of course, but the color scheme is powder puff pink. There’s a Popeye statue out front. Vandenburg, it is  not.

Alan convinces me to spend the extra $70 to forego the “taxi to bridge to immigration to bus to second tuk-tuk to second bus to second tuk-tuk to Udon Thani (Thailand) overnight to tuk-tuk to airport” itinerary in favor of flying directly from Vientiane back to Bangkok. I succumb. I’m getting soft in my old age.

Purchasing our air tickets turns into a lesson on Lao women in contemporary society… and a counseling session of sorts. First, we’re quoted a price that’s lower than online. Then we have a little bonding moment over the need for reading glasses. So far so good. Forty-five minutes later we’ve learned about marriages, infidelities, divorces, Bollywood videos, self-sufficiency, teenage sexuality, and asthma. There is Kleenex involved. Long story.

We walk several kilometers to That Luang, resting place of the Buddha’s breastbone and the most important sight in Laos. It is impressive. Hundreds of booths are being set up in the surrounding area and we return later that evening to see them filled with clothing, cheap goods (a lot of shampoo, lotions, soy sauce and underwear), and carnival games. There are a couple huge sound stages, several gigantic blow-up “jumpies” and slides for kids, food vendors, and thousands of individuals and families strolling about. There are few, if any, farangs besides us. This is just the warm-up for the “real” celebration that takes place at the end of the month. After a couple of steamed pork buns for appetizers, we choose one of the streetside restaurants for a simple, but tasty, final dinner in Laos.

Click on the photo of the Buddha to see more from Vientiane.